They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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