why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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