when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
