If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
bring money and cleavage
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
