So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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