my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
