this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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