I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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