I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
