get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
