i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
