he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
