i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
