She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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