I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
