So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
