Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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