real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
