It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
