my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
