apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
