what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
