I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
