I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I have post one night stand depression
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
