I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
