thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
