super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
