ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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