whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
