HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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