took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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