I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
