Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
