im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
