i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We were destined to go to rehab together
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
