I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
