I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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