just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
