Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
