i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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