You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
