you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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