toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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