Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
