hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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