no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
