We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
