We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
