dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
