Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
and you fell through a lawn chair
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
